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I assume that if you, the reader, exist; then you must have some interest in my person. Therefore I thought it apt to make this first post a biographical note. I should, however, warn you that my language is cumbersome and only the likes of John Owen could hope to match such clumsy, awkward language (though do not think that this clumsiness is an indication of quality-of-content; I assure you that it has no bearing on said attribute whatsoever). Therefore, I greatly appreciate the fact that you would take the trouble to read anything "penned" by the author.
I suppose that there is only one thing that is of any real consequence regarding any individual who has, does, or will ever live and that is: Does that person know the special, saving grace of God. It is upon this point in my life that I shall elaborate.
I was certainly blessed to have grown up in a Christian family and to have, I am told, professed faith at about the age of three. Looking back I think it is unlikely that I was saved at that age simply because I doubt that I could have understood what it meant (though, with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible). I was baptised at the age of eleven and I believe that I was indeed saved when I was baptised (in other words - at the time of my baptism I was saved; not that my baptism saved me). Satan, however, tormented my over many issues in Christianity. For example I wondered about God demanding all glory for Himself, sinfully pondering that it may be egotistical or further, I, like Jonah, would think that there are places and things hidden from the sight of God. Looking back though, I see the thread of God's sovereign grace in my life as I hid His word in my heart at Awana (a youth group I attended from grade 2 till grade 5), a growing hunger for Him during a "dry" period which parched me to the point that upon reaching the oasis I would drink it dry. The introduction of "Kent Hovind" and soon after "The Way of The Master" in grade 9 and following, in my opinion, constitute this oasis. This led to hearing Paul Washer (originally on Way of The Master Radio) and being deeply challenged regarding not merely my way of life but the end that I am living towards. It was probably a sermon by Paul Washer that had the single greatest influence over my decision to study a Bachelor of Theology after Matric. I am now, by the grace of God, no longer a stranger to the doctrines of grace, apologetics (formerly traditional though of late, presuppositional) as well as countless other sciences that center on God.
I often thought how unfortunate it was that my testimony did not contain some sort of great recovery from worldly wretchedness of drugs and gangs. I should now affirm to those who hold this view of their own testimony that indeed, my testimony does contain such a miraculous recovery! I was as sinful as they come; self-righteous, proud and arrogant, idolatrous and every other sin you can name in thought if not in deed and in omission if not commission. Even now, though I am assured of my salvation, I cannot but wince at the thought of the sin that still lingers. Indeed I can say with Paul Washer; "I was such a wretch you would not have wanted to run me down with your car." Though my vileness was not outward but inward. It is with great ecstasy then, that I can declare "I am saved". It is infinitely difficult to convey with mere diction the glorious holiness of God and the contemptuous sin and miserable nature of man. We were not neutral to God; we were His enemies (Psalm 5:5 and Romans 5:8-10). Certainly, I deserved punishment for my infinite offense against my Lord but not only this, I loved to transgress His law and scorned His grace and gospel. Yet, He saw fit to save me.
Many hymns express my feelings but this one springs to mind as I write:
And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior's blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Refrain
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
'Tis mystery all: th'Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
'Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
Refrain
He left His Father's throne above
So free, so infinite His grace
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam's helpless race:
'Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
Refrain
Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
Refrain
No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th'eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Refrain
(should you wish to listen to this hymn, it can be freely downloaded from songsandhymns.org)
So, what more can I say; the question of the one thing of consequence in my life has been answered - what could possibly matter enough to be given even a sentence on this post?
So I close, "Soli Deo Gloria".
Please do not neglect to keep me in your prayers.
